Designed by Gary Ham, the limited edition Sucklord Talking Plushie has a few pressing things to say to you. Fifteen things, actually. Just press his hand encouragingly to get him speaking. Phrases like “I don’t destroy balls; I just bruise them a little bit.” and “Being the Sucklord is a full-time gig. You don’t understand it.” may just make him your main squeeze.
12” tall. Edition of 1000. Batteries included, but not replaceable.
Which do you want? Pretty face or the metal face?
F_ck you, pay me.
This sh_t has balls. That sh_t's whack.
Star Wars, and I'm gonna stick to this, is my touchstone.
I don't destroy balls; I just bruise them a little bit.
I'm just a hardworkin' American entrepreneur.
You're an _sshole for buying this.
So what if I piss in jars? I got nothin' to hide.
Suckadelic, the best and worst at the same time.
I'm compact, economical and proud. Being tall is whack.
When you're a legend. You are obligated to be legendary.
I'm a professional, ya understand me? Pro-fessional.
What the f_ck am I supposed to do without my paint spatter? Huh?
Being the Sucklord is a full time gig. You don't understand it.